Vacuum Wig

So, I know I've been MIA for a bit, but my music blog and 2 jobs keep me busy! Good news I always come back :).

I got fitted for my vacuum wig a couple of weeks ago, and I can't wait to get it in....in April. It takes a while because the hair is European and is processed in New Zealand. I will have to get it styled, and it makes me miss my wonderful Laura back in Denver who styled my wigs there. Anyone else have a vacuum wig? What do you think of it?

The lady who I'm doing the process through told me the way I draw my eyebrows are the best she's ever seen, which made me happy :). I'm actually thinking about going back to the idea of tattooing them on. When I first did a consultation back in high school the idea scared me and I had never drawn on my eyebrows before, but I think I have come to the terms that they'll never come back and I'm used to my face with the drawn on ones. It would be nice to not have to worry about them rubbing off or doing them every day though! Any one have tattooed eyebrows?

New York Times Article

I rediscovered this article in a facebook message sent to me last summer. Wanted to share it with everyone! It is a look at people with alopeica and their personal experiences called "The Voices of Alopecia" in the New York Times' Health section.

Here is the link: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/06/the-voices-of-alopecia/?partner=rss&emc=rss

Getting my hair did

Thank you to my avid reader Clamco! She is the lucky winner of the My Memories giveaway! Hope you enjoy it and have fun with the scrapbooking!

So I've made an appointment with a Fuller Hair to get a vacuum wig! I have to keep my head shaved, which I'm not too happy about. However, the wig lasts 3-5 years, and I can do a lot more activities in it without worrying about it falling off my head. The process is a long one and expensive. I won't get the wig until about March or April...birthday present to me!

I met someone last night who asked me why I was wearing a wig, and so I told him I had alopecia. I don't mind talking about it when people ask, but I'm always nervous afterwards that others can tell I'm wearing a wig if that person can. Anyways, he shared with me that his godson who is only 2 years old and used to have really blonde hair all over has alopecia and losing his hair. Makes me sad for that little boy because 2 is when I started to lose mine. Apparently, the father blames himself because he was really stressed during his wife's pregnancy and thinks that might have something to do with it. When my mother was pregnant with me she went through some stressful family drama, and we always wondered if that might have had an effect on my makeup. Perhaps alopecia does happen for those at a younger age who experienced stress in the womb. Interesting thought.

My Memories Scrapbooking- Chop chop people!

Ok, people I'm a few days into the giveaway and no one has told me what layout they like...I would really love to give away FREE digital scrapbook software! I've personally tried it myself, and unfort. am not smart enough to figure out how to load my example onto the blog, but please take my word for it! This is not a scam. Just some people trying to grow a fun software business and are offering their product to one lucky person. Please take the time to just check it out and let me know what your favorite layout is!

My Memories Giveaway!!

Liz Gardner contacted me from My Memories and wants to offer one lucky reader a chance to win the My Memories Suite Scrapbook software!! Even better, ALL readers get a $10 discount off if you purchase the My Memories suite! Go to this link: http://www.mymemories.com/digital_scrapbooking_software and enter code STMMMS67400.

To enter the giveaway, visit www.MyMemories.com, choose your favorite digital paper pack, and comment on my blog which one you chose. The winner will be chosen Monday, Oct. 3rd!

I had the chance to experience the software myself, and love how easy it is to use! Plus, there are so many ways to be creative with the digital scrapbooking.


For more information on My Memories scrapbooking check out these links:
Blog: http://blog.mymemories.com/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/MyMemories/140359372717593
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/mymemoriessuite
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/MyMemoriesSuite

Beauty Lies In The Soul

I've been feeling super self-concious lately with my hair and eyelashes all gone, but I have to realize that my fear of rejection is getting in the way of potential happiness. I'm lucky to be healthy for the most part, and have dealt with alopecia long enough to know what to expect. I was reading a story in Glamour magazine about a young woman's struggle with life after her and her husband became burn victims from a plane crash that also left a friend dead. She judged herself and thought others would judge her, especially her husband. However, she triumphs over the pitied feelings and says something in the article that makes me rethink my situation when I'm feeling down about my own appearance. We can all learn from her attitude on those rough days.

Here is an excerpt from Stephanie Nielson's "I Couldn't Recognize Myself In The Mirror":

"I was afraid to let Christian--who'd also been burned but not nearly as badly--see me. I worried he'd leave me for a beautiful woman who could fulfill his needs. I felt like a beast...I noticed that my husband still looked at me the same way he had when I was his Snow White...I began seeing people for who they really are. I began seeing their soul. The greatest thing we can do as a human race is to see each other the way God sees us: beautiful. No matter if people have a disease, a handicap or a burned face, their eyes say something and most of the time they are saying, 'look at me, not my trial.'"

Her memoir Heaven Is Here will be out in 2012.

Alopecia Awareness Month

September is Alopecia Awareness Month!! A bunch of Alopecians are taking steps (small and large) to make alopecia front and center in their communities. Some women are making it aware in newsletters, while others are going to dare go without their wig in public. I decided to take the step to shave my head. I have never been completely bald in my life, and have always cringed at the idea because I wanted to keep whatever hair I had left. However, since it looks like I might lose it all anyways, which is scary in itself, I decided to shave my head on a 2 out of 3 coin toss. It is freeing and terrifying. I'm still not completely comfortable with it, but too late to turn back now! I will have to learn how to wear head scarfs I suppose. My nephew said I looked funny as my brother came to the rescue with proper shaving tools after I got most of it shaven. It was hard because I basically cried like a baby in front of my 5-year-old nephew while my brother shaved the rest off. I asked him yesterday if he still loved me even if I looked different, and he replied "Yea, I love you," and gave me a hug. When we went down to get the mail I hid behind a bush for oncoming cars, and he told me he would tell me when the coast was clear. It's silly I know, but I don't feel myself with a shaved head, so public appearances for my bald head aren't in the cards anytime soon, except on here. I knew then that he would always protect me from harsh words of ignorant people, like his dad who got in a fight when we were younger because some boy made fun of me. My brother always has my back. Love them to pieces!

On another note, I've been tackling the fake eyelash conundrum. I'm getting better! I don't wear them daily because it is tedious and my makeup is minimal during the week, but they are great for a night out!

I'm wearing them in this picture!

Here is my new head! Eeek!

The Southern Gentleman

One of the biggest obstacles for me is of course dating,and not that I have trouble meeting guys or getting dates, but southern girls are serious competition. They are usually the perfect package of pretty, polite, and wife-made ready. Don't get me wrong I love who I am, faults and all, but I'm not your typical southern girl. Since I spent a stint in Colorado, I am even less so now. However, every once in a while a good guy comes along and reinforces my belief in the true southern gentleman.

A couple of weeks ago I met a super cute guy (so cute I usually write guys like him off because I assume they would be shallow) who just moved to Atlanta from North Carolina with a friend. We were having a good time and his friends seemed nice, except one. Enter drunk jealous girl. The guys did not know her, but she was friends with one of the girls in their group that night. Obviously wanting my guy for herself she kept looking at me and whispering in his ear. I asked him what her problem was because it just was unnecessary and made me feel uncomfortable. He apologized and said she was really drunk, and the girl was telling him that I was wearing a wig as she was hugging all over him. I told him that I was wearing a wig for medical reasons (thank you liquid courage) and basically that the girl was rude and if he wanted to leave he could. I expected him to get all weird and make an excuse, but he surprised me by immediately saying he didn't care and that girl was being mean and he didn't like people who are so judgemental. Even his friends stuck up for me saying they thought I was cool and the girl was making a fool of herself. After we exchanged numbers and we parted ways, he later told me that the girl said something mean about me again and her friend that was with them said she had enough and stuck up for me, even though she only met me for 15 min. It is nice that there are some decent people, even with one bad apple. I know the girl was acting out of jealousy and alcohol, but you never know what it is like for someone else, so it is a learning lesson of don't judge a book by its cover. I've even hung out with the guy since. Cheers to the southern gentleman!

Tutorials

I was looking up "How To" videos for false eyelashes, and I came across this beautiful woman who shows you how to do eyelashes, draw on eyebrows, and wear a headscarf.

Headscarf:



Eyebrows:



Eyelashes:

Eyelashes

So, as I watch my hair still fall out at least I have a wig I know how to easily put on, but with my eyelashes I'm clueless. I've lost my eyelashes before, but not the last few cycles. I always get ambitious and think this time around I will figure out how to put on fake eyelashes. However, I fail every. single. time. I get frustrated because they look awkward and unnatural, hence fake, but which is better...having fake eyelashes or none at all? Either way I feel out of my comfort zone. I've tried every which way to figure out how to put these things on and I just can't seem to connect them with my eyelid flawlessly. Anyone out there have pointers on the best way, because now I have a set and glue I paid for and would like to use??????

True Life's Rebecca Richardson

I recently re-watched a True Life follow up episode where MTV re-visits past True Life members. Rebecca Richardson was one of them and gained fame on the original episode of "I'm Losing My Hair." Rebecca started losing her hair to alopecia areata at 19 through her college years and bravely shared her story with the nation. I contacted Rebecca, and she graciously agreed to do a mini interview for my blog. Normally, I would interweave quotes through out a post, but Rebecca had so many positive things to say about her experience with alopecia, so I wanted to share her full answers. Considering I have battled with the self-consiousness of dealing with alopecia all of my life, it is refreshing to hear encouraging words from someone who has only had it for 3 years. Thanks Rebecca for being so honest and open. Hope you guys enjoy!!

1. What other methods besides Cortisone shots have you tried to grow your hair back?

A: I've tried pretty much everything! Besides Cortisone, I attempted to grow hair back with: acupuncture, prednisone (or steroids), diet changes, Rogaine, and the "poison ivy" treatment....if it is out there, I've probably tried it.

2. Where are you at currently with your hair loss?

A: It has been a roller coaster of a journey for me since I got alopecia 3 years ago. About a year ago I became universalis, and now I have started growing back some random body hair, but still nothing on my head.

3. When it comes to dating, how long do you wait to tell the guy that you have alopecia? What are the reactions you have received when they do find out?

A: (It is funny you ask this, I was just talking about it with a close friend of mine) For me, my relationships have been with people who either knew me while I was loosing my hair, or were close enough to my friends that they were familiar with me having alopecia. I got the easy way out. My boyfriends knew I had it before we even starting dating or becoming serious. In my opinion, there is no "text book" way of knowing when or how to tell someone, or show someone. However, I'd say a good measure would be 90 days. In dating, 3 months should be a quality amount of time to learn about someone, figure out who they really are. Really though, telling a boyfriend or girlfriend about your alopecia should come whenever you are ready, when you see the relationship becoming more serious. The honest truth is that there are a lot of people out there who will never be willing to accept you and your alopecia. It is foreign for a lot of people, and their ignorance becomes a place of insecurity. On the other hand, there are so many special people out there who will take you in your best and worst form. I have lost friends to losing my hair, and lost boyfriends because they couldn't handle to emotional aspects of alopecia. In the end, whether or not you had alopecia, the people who aren't right for you will always find something wrong. And those are the ones who do not deserve you anyway. The keepers will stick around through thick and thin, and are willing to see you as beautiful in any way, shape, or form. For the most part, when I have told boyfriends out loud that I have alopecia, they have been really accepting. The reaction has been to either hug me or hold me, because they knew I was sharing a part of myself that was hidden and really impacting for my life.They have felt special in that I was willing to open up to them. I have also seen friends who have opened up to their boyfriends and their reaction had been kind at first, but then broke up with them a few days later. In general, I think most people are very considerate of touchy issues, and will be respectful to your face. Usually people express their fear or dislike behind your back, and while I do not think that is any better, it is knowledge that might make it easier to share your alopecia in your relationships.

4. I am thinking about moving to California, which is where you are at if I am correct? Being in a state that can be appearance obsessed, I admire your ability to go without a wig on the show when you only had some of your hair growing back, and you also mentioned you wouldn't put your wig back on after the show wrapped. Is this still true today?How do you hide it or are you pretty open?

A: California is great! :) Everywhere has places that people are obsessed with their appearance. In California, people do think highly of their outer appearance, but they also like standing out and being different. In this sense, it is easier to go out with no wig on because people may stare, but it is probably because they are enjoying your individuality and embracing your different appearance. After the show finished, for a while, I was totally okay with going out without a wig on. I was like, "who cares, if you don't like me, don't look." But when it came time for a job interview, or meeting people, or going on a date, I found myself starting to wear wigs again. I think for me, I did not want the first impression to be one of pity or confusion. I wanted people to be willing to talk to me and get to know me without the overhanging cloud of, "should I feel sorry for her," "I wonder what's wrong," or "I cant stop staring at her head." So, I started wearing wigs again. I don't so much hide my alopecia as much as I am really embracing it. Having alopecia gives me an opportunity to look and be exactly what I want to be. I can change my appearance and not feel weird about it. It's like those of us with alopecia were given this blank palette to do what we please with. And when people ask if I am wearing a wig, or if my eyelashes are fake, I tell them "yes" and then tell them about alopecia. I have mastered the eyelashes and wigs, so for me it is easy to hide. But I don't like to think of it as hiding, but as another shade of who I am.

5. What have you learned from the time you were on True Life?

A: I think the biggest lesson I learned from True Life is that it was a lot easier for me to conquer those things in life that I was afraid of, when I had the pressure of people and cameras. :) I'm not saying that throwing your self in front of a camera will help everyone overcome their struggle with alopecia, but I think pushing your personal boundaries and putting yourself in unique and unfamiliar circumstances, makes it much easier to realize how alopecia is really small in the grand scheme of diseases and medical conditions, and life. While there are still moments that I cry over my alopecia, or wish that I could have my hair back, for the most part, I try to remind myself that, 1)we are special individuals, 2)I am healthy and alive, and 3) the strength, knowledge and selflessness that I have learned from having alopecia will outweigh having my hair back, any day.



I've included her original episode link, which was taken from the Alopecia World website.

http://www.alopeciaworld.com/video/mtvs-true-life-full-episode%20


This is the link for follow up episode of Rebecca's journey from MTV.com.

http://www.mtv.com/videos/true-life-true-life-favorites-where-are-they-now/1655488/playlist.jhtml#series=2211&seriesId=5232&channelId=1

You will have to cut and paste in a new browser to watch videos. Sorry for the inconvenience!

Coping Through The Web

I wanted to post some links that I came across concerning alopecia, and specifically how women deal with the battle.

http://www.womenshairlossproject.com/resources/
This website has a network of women who share their stories. The site allows connection to others dealing with alopecia and can act as an online support group. I also like that it offers media publications that have covered Alopecia, such as nineteen-year-old Rebecca's True Life episode documenting her issues with going through her first cycle.

Also, check out another blogger Angela's blog http://www.alopecianmuse.com/.
She covers a little bit of everything. The blog is not about alopecia per say, but a woman with alopecia writing about her life.

http://www.americanhairloss.org/women_hair_loss/
This site talks about the medical aspects of hair loss.

Hope this helps!

Taking risks

I hardly ever get a mani/pedi because it takes a good chunk of time, I always mess it up, the manicure usually chips within 3 days, and it costs $$$. Well, my lovely friend came to visit our hometown and suggested we get our nails done since her mom owns a nail salon. I'm usually pretty tame when it comes to painting my nails. I keep a solid color and sometimes switch it up by having one color for the hands and one color for the feet. I always look at the different nail colors for the seasons or new ways to do them, like texturizing with lace to create a crackling effect, but I never experiment myself. My friend Vivian decided to switch things up a bit. She painted her toenails with a hot red and one toe opaque white. My nail lady suggested I do the same after I had already decided to paint all my little piggies a seafoam blue. I decided to take a small risk and paint one toe with the same red Vivian used. Then, it came to decide the colors of my fingernails and I decided the red was a good complement. The nail lady suggested I paint one blue to match my toes. My answer: No. Here I am considering myself a risk taker, and I can't paint a nail blue. I work from home, it's summer, I never treat myself to a mani/pedi...I mean I seriously sat there for 10 minutes contemplating if I should paint my index finger blue. I have gone to CO without friends and made a living out there. I conquered (well somewhat) snowboarding, yet I couldn't take a stupid risk of having multicolored nails. Finally, I decided to take my small risk and my fingers and toes complement themselves in a fun way, not a scary way. No matter how big or small the risk is...changing your vanilla latte to a hazelnut latte or taking a job in a new city, I invite you to live life and take it! My nail risk might not have dire consequences or opportunities (though I did get offered a job that night--could have been my awesome nails!) , but if I took the safe route every time I wouldn't know the joy of not knowing where life really wants to take me.

When meeting a guy...

I'm going to share an intimate moment with my readers because I feel that when it comes to single people with alopecia, the thoughts of what the opposite sex thinks of our condition is a main issue for dating. Last weekend, I went to the Hang Out Fest in Gulf Shores, AL, which is a very sandy, beachy afair. My first night, I met a very attractive guy who I frankly thought was out of my league. Now hear me out, I know I should have all the confidence in the world and people will tell me I am beautiful no matter what and I am not lacking in male attention, but I do have my insecure moments. As the night wore on he kept playfully touching my head, and as a reaction I would pull away and after awhile, I either look like I'm high maintenance (very unlikely considering our surroundings of a music festival for 3 days) or I am hiding something. He asked if my hair was fake, and I said no in defense. I sometimes can handle these situations with finesse and say "yes and this is why and if you don't like it, leave," but this guy was really cute with an amazing body and I deverted into my turtle shell somewhat. I told him I wore wigs and because of alopecia and admitted I was self-concious about it. Some guys will clam up, which makes it awkward for me or ask questions, but I felt like he handled it well in just still acting interested in me and still wanting to kiss me later. Of course that is what we all want isn't it? While we were kissing later (in our own seclusion) he said he wanted me to take the wig off. My response? You can if you want, but I look weird. Basically priming him for "Hey I'm this freak with missing patches of hair without my wig, so here ya go and let's still lock lips." However, I took it off and he felt my hair and had nothing to say, but to keep kissing me and hold me. In fact, he told me I should have more confidence in myself.

This post my be a little detailed and confusing for some, but I wanted to walk through my emotions with my readers about how I felt I was treated when faced with a "wig situation" and a new guy. It comes to the point where do you tell them or don't you? How long do you wait to tell someone? Does a fleeting make out session warrant the truth? Whatever the answer is, and I've been in every possible scenario, don't beat yourself up for the hand you have been dealt and stand strong. He could have been an asshole and said nevermind, but that is like some guy not liking you because you are Jewish or have six fingers (which Anne Boleyn supposedly did and she seduced a king). I can't say the next time I won't flinch away or experience that sense of dread of telling my alopecia story to another guy, but it is nice to know that some guys out there really don't care about your hair :).

2 Steps forward, one step back

So my previous post mentioned how my hair was growing back and I could go without my wig. Sadly, this is not the case anymore. I am still able to go without my wig for a little longer, but I probably only have a couple of months left. Unfortunately, the condition has decided to attack my front hairline again, which is making it increasingly difficult to cover the large bald spots. While I wish my hair continued to grow without problems, dealing with the naturalness of my hair has been a battle all its own. It takes me an hour to make my hair resemble something of a decent style, and with Georgia humidity, I might as well give up all together. I'm not going to lie and say I even try every day. My unruly curls look awesome in a bun hidden away from the world. Even though I rather deal with a haystack on top of my head for hours on end rather than be submitted to a lifetime of embarrassment and stares, I have a new love for my wig each time I try to contain my wild child. Wigs for the most part always look perfect. Real hair ones you can style anyway you like and it will keep for a week. I actually make others jealous because I can change my hair on bad hair days. Good quality wigs are not by any means cheap (I get mine at Wigs by Cheyenne and Services in Destin, FL), but it probably adds up to what I would spend for a haircut, highlights, keratin treatment, etc. Living back in Georgia where the humidity zaps energy from everything doesn't even have power over my wig. Now if only I could control the sweating.

Media Expectations

The article I am posting is about a plus-sized model who has settled at a beautiful, healthy size 8. She previously suffered from anorexia as a model, and is now getting slack as a "too thin" plus-size model. Her answer to the backlash is how everyone should view the modeling world, and I applaud her courage to walk her own path. This is her story: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20464449,00.html

Revitalash

Wow, has it been a while since I have posted. My hair is growing back in amazingly, and I am comfortable going out without my wig on! I still wear it, but it is a huge milestone to be back in that place where a wig or a hat aren't my only options.

So, I want to talk about a product meant for growing thicker eyelashes called Revitalash. A friend told me about Revitalash after reading some reviews about it concerning eyebrows as well. Being someone who has to draw on her own eyebrows every day I wanted to look into what the internet was saying about the stuff. There are many alopecia sufferers who do not have their eyebrows or eyelashes (I am lucky for this cycle to have kept my eyelashes for the most part), so hopefully this post will help.

This is how eyelash-growth.com described Revitalash:

"Revitalash Eyelash Conditioner belongs to Athena Cosmetics, Inc. an organization devoted to philanthropy by supporting the fight against breast cancer. The product was born out of a doctor’s need to offer his wife a solution for her once beautiful eyelashes left sparse and fragile due to intensive chemotherapy treatments on her way to recovering from breast cancer.

It claims to provide longer, fuller, and thicker lashes anywhere between 3 to 10 weeks, which is a long wait indeed. It is to be applied by a brush applicator only once a day at bedtime to the base of the lashes to boost the beauty of the natural lashes."

Not only does it promise growth, but also supports the fight against breast cancer; a cause I can definitely stand behind. However, every new product has some side effects and the ones for Revitalash should not be taken lightly, like changing eye color. The price is also pretty steep.

****I want to know if anyone has used any of the lash growth products on their eyelashes and/or eyebrows and what their experience has been with it.