Coloring the world one wig at a time

Many people who have to wear wigs will wear them proudly...one long one day, purple the next. I have not quite gotten to that point where I can let acquaintances (think concierge or coworkers) of my daily life see me differently day to day. When I went blonde for the summer it was a huge change for those who knew me, and now that I am back to my former brown, those who met me as a blonde find it a huge change. Again most people would like the attention of a new haircut, but I only feel awkward as people asked questions of where I got it done and if my roots were starting to show.

However, I now own a short brunette wig and a red one (my next color of choice). I am no where used to having short hair (short hair as a child was traumatizing) to being a redhead. One Saturday night as I contemplated how new friends should see me as because I knew they could care less what hair was on my head, I switched back and forth between the short do, the red, and finally settling in my comfort zone with the wig I have been wearing for a few weeks now. Still I got the "Wow you went dark!" comments since they had not seen me with it yet. Why could I not break free of this fear though? After all I had been at Lake Powell with a large group who barely knew me and did not put my wig or hat on once. I hate that I psyched myself out of the other wigs because I did not think others would find me as attractive or accept me for my medical issue. I've never had a problem with people being understanding once I told them, but I have this deep seeded fear that I will be judged for lacking the beautiful flowing hair as my peers. Funnily enough, the wigs are easier to tame than my own crazy curls, but I would give anything to deal with the unruliness on my head than spend a lifetime hiding under hair that isn't truly mine.