New York, New York

It seems the small island of Manhattan with its big attitude has been sneaking it's way into my thoughts lately. When people visit they usually hate it or love it; a lot of them feeling an electrifying energy zooming through it's tall buildings and having the need to be part of her crazy world. I have been to NYC several times, and each time I find it more and more charming. Once upon a time not too long ago I thought I would move there and complete my dream of becoming a budding journalist for Hearst Corporation or Conde Naste, so I spent my senior year of Spring Break visiting my aspiring actress best friend to make connections and get a better feel for what my life could be like. However, after spending $50 one night on drinks alone on only myself and no connections to come home with, I resolved that I did not belong in the Big Apple.Instead I moved to a more decently priced and smaller city: Denver. No, I did not find my passionate writing gig there either. It actually took to moving back home to rev up my writing juices again and revisit my need to create thoughts and sentences that no one else has. While I'm on my journey of a career change to break into the creative fields of social media and marketing I am reading a lot about women who take chances and start out with no knowledge or money, but move away from blue-collar suburbia and after heartbreak, rejection, homelessness, starvation, and a reality check do they come out on top and now are writing memoirs about the lessons they learned. Patti Smith's Just Like Kids is a story about her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe and how they helped each other realize their potential of music, photography, and artistry. Scene: New York City. I am in the middle of Kelly Cutrone's biting go-get-em book If You Have To Cry Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Taught You that has short life lessons on how to make it in the real world. Basically show no fear and a "Fake it til you make it" attitude. Scene: New York City. It seems New York City is the place to overcome all odds because everyone is fighting to survive there. Perhaps they should do a season of Survivor: Manhattan because a lot of times you have to find your own way until you can form trusting alliances. I see it first hand with my best friends who live up there...one in investment banking working 60 or more hours a week trying to remind herself the money is worth it, my aspiring actress now turned aspiring social media analyst jumping through hoops to prove she is qualified to post Facebook statuses (I'm talking multiple interviews for an entry-level, essays, and an annual marketing report just for the interview), and another who finished her Masters at NYU and went on to write and head her own project for an online publication. I am proud of my ladies because they are doing the fighting trying to survive and a lot of the time my fear and quickly dwindling bank account has kept me from fighting like they do. I had a dream the other night that my boyfriend got a job in NYC and I was going to move with him to find my own perfect job there (He would never move there just because of the property taxes alone, but he also has never been so who knows if it may captivate him). Now I don't think that these are all signs pointing to move to NYC, although my friends would love that, but it's the idea that I needed a good firecracker lit under my butt to go after my dreams and fight for what I want to do and prove that I can do it because no one is going to do it for me. Big things are in store for me I hope.