I'm going to share an intimate moment with my readers because I feel that when it comes to single people with alopecia, the thoughts of what the opposite sex thinks of our condition is a main issue for dating. Last weekend, I went to the Hang Out Fest in Gulf Shores, AL, which is a very sandy, beachy afair. My first night, I met a very attractive guy who I frankly thought was out of my league. Now hear me out, I know I should have all the confidence in the world and people will tell me I am beautiful no matter what and I am not lacking in male attention, but I do have my insecure moments. As the night wore on he kept playfully touching my head, and as a reaction I would pull away and after awhile, I either look like I'm high maintenance (very unlikely considering our surroundings of a music festival for 3 days) or I am hiding something. He asked if my hair was fake, and I said no in defense. I sometimes can handle these situations with finesse and say "yes and this is why and if you don't like it, leave," but this guy was really cute with an amazing body and I deverted into my turtle shell somewhat. I told him I wore wigs and because of alopecia and admitted I was self-concious about it. Some guys will clam up, which makes it awkward for me or ask questions, but I felt like he handled it well in just still acting interested in me and still wanting to kiss me later. Of course that is what we all want isn't it? While we were kissing later (in our own seclusion) he said he wanted me to take the wig off. My response? You can if you want, but I look weird. Basically priming him for "Hey I'm this freak with missing patches of hair without my wig, so here ya go and let's still lock lips." However, I took it off and he felt my hair and had nothing to say, but to keep kissing me and hold me. In fact, he told me I should have more confidence in myself.
This post my be a little detailed and confusing for some, but I wanted to walk through my emotions with my readers about how I felt I was treated when faced with a "wig situation" and a new guy. It comes to the point where do you tell them or don't you? How long do you wait to tell someone? Does a fleeting make out session warrant the truth? Whatever the answer is, and I've been in every possible scenario, don't beat yourself up for the hand you have been dealt and stand strong. He could have been an asshole and said nevermind, but that is like some guy not liking you because you are Jewish or have six fingers (which Anne Boleyn supposedly did and she seduced a king). I can't say the next time I won't flinch away or experience that sense of dread of telling my alopecia story to another guy, but it is nice to know that some guys out there really don't care about your hair :).
